He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
