party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
