This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
