Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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