True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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