Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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