there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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