Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
