Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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