Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
