is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
