im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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