you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
