only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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