I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
