Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
