i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
