Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize