I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
