Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
