Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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