I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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