Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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