He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
