2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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