She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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