apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
