"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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