it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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