At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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