I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
