Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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