So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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