I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
