Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
