Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
