i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
