Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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