awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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