You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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