I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
