Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
