Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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