doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
