R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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