You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
