I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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