My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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