Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
