Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
should my penis look like a turkey
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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