your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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