Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
