I should be sponsored by Trojan
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
