Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
