I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
