areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
