also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
