I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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