theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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