Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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