I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
