Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
