Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
