Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm too high and old for this...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
