i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
