Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
In America we eat man semen.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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