Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
